Re-entry and Reverse Culture Shock

Talking with a friend on Friday I said that I've had more difficulty adjusting to being home than I did adjusting to life in Tanzania. Saying that aloud really helped for some reason, so perhaps writing it down will help, too.

I tend to think that I am going to be the exception to every rule, but then quickly find out that I am just another garden variety human. I was really hoping that it would be different this time! :-) Alas, it seems that I am not the super-woman I aspire to be...and I haven't been able to circumvent the very human experience of re-entry shock. Uggggh.

I know that what I'm experiencing is normal (if you know me personally, you have likely guessed that I've been doing plenty of research on the topic - thank goodness for my pal, Mr. Internet, and the wealth of knowledge he lays at my fingertips!). And being unemployed is certainly not helping the situation, although that has afforded me the opportunity to do a lot of volunteer work in Austin these past three weeks.

So what does it look like? Where is Kimberly in the process of re-entry?

Right now I'm bouncing around between stages three and four, reverse culture shock and readjustment. I have a lot of uncertainty about "what to do next" and sometimes feel doubtful of my direction. For the past few weeks I've wanted to isolate and withdraw, although that seems to have lifted now. Other than talking at length with Buddy and Shari about the trip, I have generally wanted to keep my experiences to myself in order to "hang on" to them for a while. And of course, there is boredom and a little depression which I'm just giving myself permission to feel; I know that it will pass. I am becoming more relaxed and familiar with home, feeling less anxious as the days go on and trying to integrate my overseas experiences into my life. I'm using this downtime to act on some old personal goals (volunteering) and to set some new long-term goals for myself. Most of all, I'm trying to understand how I can use my experiences in Tanzania in a productive and helpful way.

These lines from a favorite book of mine keep coming to mind: "I saw that my friend was much more than inwardly reorganized. He was on a different footing. His roots grasped a new soil." I feel like that's where I'm at right now - that I've been re-potted and have started to grow in some strange, new direction. It's both scary and exhilarating!